My friend Pramod is doing is a fantastic job tracking Ron Paul's campaign trail. If you aren't reading his blog already, I suggest you head over to Ron Paul India.
Cheers Bili !
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Pramod, he's different
Pramod Biligiri and I met for the first time in Vijaya High School. We were in the eighth standard then. Our classes had begun just then and the students were still getting to know each other. Pramod and I hadn't met as yet. At around the same time, a teacher in the math department was putting together a team for a group song performance. Somebody had misinformed her about my singing skills and to my horror I found myself in her cabin staring at two pages of complicated Kannada poetry, not a word of which I understood.
Along with me in the teacher's cabin, was Pramod, who was observing the manner in which the teacher was selecting students for the event. The teacher obviously had no clue about the students in our class, let alone knowing who sang well or who played the tabla well. We were still new faces. She was being advised by a group of senior students who were leveraging their "network" to suggest names from our class.
Teacher: OK, I need two more male voices. Also, is there somebody who can play the veena ?
Senior #1: Uh..my friend Divya told me that her brother's friend Dramod T K plays the veena really well. We should probably take him.
Senior #2: My sister's classmate's brother is apparently an awesome singer. We SHOULD take him. Else I won't participate !!
Senior #3: There's this guy who attends the same music academy that my cousin's neighbour does. I don't remember his name....perhaps starts with A
Soon we had our two "male voices" and Dramod T K for the veena. The teacher now wanted to talk about the song she had selected. Just as she turned her attention to the script, Pramod interrupted her: "Ma'am, I think we need to adopt a more democratic process in selecting the team. I believe in freedom of expression. I believe in public opinion and equal opportunity for all. Do we elect our leaders in the same manner as we have put this team together ? Hearsay ? Clearly our knowledge about our class is limited. Perhaps there's somebody out there who sings much better than this guy ...pointing at me..me nodding vigorously in approval.. How do we know ? We should conduct a Talent Show...provide an unbiased platform for all the kids to display their talents. And then we can proceed to choose our team. My conscience doesn't permit me to be a part this team. I am out. " What the hell was Pramod talking about ? Democratic process of decision making ? Freedom of Expression ?? hello !! The teacher was shocked at Pramod's maturity. She sent us back to our classrooms immediately and canceled the day's practice. Soon, a talent show was announced for the eighth standard students !
So that's how I met Pramod.... over a lesson on democracy, public opinion and equal opportunity.
I won't be wrong if I branded Pramod as the "true geek" among all my friends. When the gang wants to talk about Sushmita Sen in her latest movie, Pramod wants to discuss Ron Paul. When Avinash and I raised a minor complaint about prices of coffee at Cafe Coffee Day, Pramod informed us about the effects of Fringe Benefit Tax on the prices of mosquito repellants. When Kandarp wanted to discuss a certain girl in his class, Pramod wanted us talk about Ubuntu instead. He once made me write a ruby program in a movie hall !
Back in 2000, after we had completed writing a million engineering entrance examinations, Avinash, Kandarp, Pramod and I set off on a trip to discover coastal Karnataka. We were going to visit several beaches and also spend some time in Mangalore. One of the beaches we visited was Kapu. We reached the beach at 5 in the evening, tired after a really strenuous bus ride. Each one of us bought a tender coconut from a peddler on the beach. We threw ourselves on the sand and sat facing the beach with the sun setting in the background. At a distance, very very far away, we spotted a ship that was disappearing slowly into the horizon. We sat there for several minutes, our eyes riveted on that ship. We seemed to have been overcome by a sudden silence that was interrupted every now and then by the sound of the waves and cries of "yellneer" from the peddler. Nobody spoke. Everyone watched...simply watched.
Finally, when the ship had disappeared, Kandarp broke the silence: "Guys, what do you reckon of that ship ?"
Avinash: Don't worry. It's a cargo ship. I have seen several of those in the movies. It won't destroy us.
Me: I wonder what it is carrying...marijuana ? Trafficking human beings ?
Kandarp: What crap ?! I think that ship resembles our life, as it stands at this point in time.
Avinash and I were a bit puzzled, but we managed to put a philosophical look on our faces to suit the occasion.
"That ship was perhaps at a harbour a couple of days ago. It was anchored there in the company of several of it's "friend" ships. It has now embarked on a journey, with a destination in mind. It doesn't know when it is going to return to the harbour, when will it ever get to meet it's friends again. Some of them may meet again, some may never meet at all. Each one of us is now embarking on a similar journey...a journey called life. Will we all stay in Bangalore ? Maybe we'll go to different cities. And what if I decide to go to the US after my engineering ? Will we ever get to meet again ?"
Avinash and I were suddenly taken over by the gravity of Kandarp's remark. All those scenes of we being together, cracking jokes at each other, hanging out in 4th block for by-two coffee by-two idli flashed before our eyes. We were going to be separated, and no one except Kandarp had realised it !! The emotional crescendo had reached a peak. One more word from Kandarp and we were probably going to tumble down with tears in our eyes. Were we really going to be separated ? Avinash searched for his handkerchief.
Kandarp, sensing that Pramod hadn't spoken at all: So Bili, what do you reckon of that ship ?
no answer
Kandarp: BILI !!
Pramod: Uh ?? monopoly, absolute monopoly
Monopoly ? Did he actually say monopoly ? "There are so many coconut trees in this place. There are so many people on this beach. Yet, there's only one guy selling tender coconuts here. Plus this is summer. I am sure he has an exclusive license to sell coconuts on this beach. Perhaps, he has bribed the local politician to ensure no one else is allowed to sell anything here. No wonder we paid 20 bucks for the coconut, while back in Bangalore, we would have paid just 5 bucks. I wonder what the license costed him though."
Kandarp: OK OK, but what about that ship ?
Pramod: What ship ?
Kandarp, Avinash and I buried our heads in disbelief.
Along with me in the teacher's cabin, was Pramod, who was observing the manner in which the teacher was selecting students for the event. The teacher obviously had no clue about the students in our class, let alone knowing who sang well or who played the tabla well. We were still new faces. She was being advised by a group of senior students who were leveraging their "network" to suggest names from our class.
Teacher: OK, I need two more male voices. Also, is there somebody who can play the veena ?
Senior #1: Uh..my friend Divya told me that her brother's friend Dramod T K plays the veena really well. We should probably take him.
Senior #2: My sister's classmate's brother is apparently an awesome singer. We SHOULD take him. Else I won't participate !!
Senior #3: There's this guy who attends the same music academy that my cousin's neighbour does. I don't remember his name....perhaps starts with A
Soon we had our two "male voices" and Dramod T K for the veena. The teacher now wanted to talk about the song she had selected. Just as she turned her attention to the script, Pramod interrupted her: "Ma'am, I think we need to adopt a more democratic process in selecting the team. I believe in freedom of expression. I believe in public opinion and equal opportunity for all. Do we elect our leaders in the same manner as we have put this team together ? Hearsay ? Clearly our knowledge about our class is limited. Perhaps there's somebody out there who sings much better than this guy ...pointing at me..me nodding vigorously in approval.. How do we know ? We should conduct a Talent Show...provide an unbiased platform for all the kids to display their talents. And then we can proceed to choose our team. My conscience doesn't permit me to be a part this team. I am out. " What the hell was Pramod talking about ? Democratic process of decision making ? Freedom of Expression ?? hello !! The teacher was shocked at Pramod's maturity. She sent us back to our classrooms immediately and canceled the day's practice. Soon, a talent show was announced for the eighth standard students !
So that's how I met Pramod.... over a lesson on democracy, public opinion and equal opportunity.
I won't be wrong if I branded Pramod as the "true geek" among all my friends. When the gang wants to talk about Sushmita Sen in her latest movie, Pramod wants to discuss Ron Paul. When Avinash and I raised a minor complaint about prices of coffee at Cafe Coffee Day, Pramod informed us about the effects of Fringe Benefit Tax on the prices of mosquito repellants. When Kandarp wanted to discuss a certain girl in his class, Pramod wanted us talk about Ubuntu instead. He once made me write a ruby program in a movie hall !
Back in 2000, after we had completed writing a million engineering entrance examinations, Avinash, Kandarp, Pramod and I set off on a trip to discover coastal Karnataka. We were going to visit several beaches and also spend some time in Mangalore. One of the beaches we visited was Kapu. We reached the beach at 5 in the evening, tired after a really strenuous bus ride. Each one of us bought a tender coconut from a peddler on the beach. We threw ourselves on the sand and sat facing the beach with the sun setting in the background. At a distance, very very far away, we spotted a ship that was disappearing slowly into the horizon. We sat there for several minutes, our eyes riveted on that ship. We seemed to have been overcome by a sudden silence that was interrupted every now and then by the sound of the waves and cries of "yellneer" from the peddler. Nobody spoke. Everyone watched...simply watched.
Finally, when the ship had disappeared, Kandarp broke the silence: "Guys, what do you reckon of that ship ?"
Avinash: Don't worry. It's a cargo ship. I have seen several of those in the movies. It won't destroy us.
Me: I wonder what it is carrying...marijuana ? Trafficking human beings ?
Kandarp: What crap ?! I think that ship resembles our life, as it stands at this point in time.
Avinash and I were a bit puzzled, but we managed to put a philosophical look on our faces to suit the occasion.
"That ship was perhaps at a harbour a couple of days ago. It was anchored there in the company of several of it's "friend" ships. It has now embarked on a journey, with a destination in mind. It doesn't know when it is going to return to the harbour, when will it ever get to meet it's friends again. Some of them may meet again, some may never meet at all. Each one of us is now embarking on a similar journey...a journey called life. Will we all stay in Bangalore ? Maybe we'll go to different cities. And what if I decide to go to the US after my engineering ? Will we ever get to meet again ?"
Avinash and I were suddenly taken over by the gravity of Kandarp's remark. All those scenes of we being together, cracking jokes at each other, hanging out in 4th block for by-two coffee by-two idli flashed before our eyes. We were going to be separated, and no one except Kandarp had realised it !! The emotional crescendo had reached a peak. One more word from Kandarp and we were probably going to tumble down with tears in our eyes. Were we really going to be separated ? Avinash searched for his handkerchief.
Kandarp, sensing that Pramod hadn't spoken at all: So Bili, what do you reckon of that ship ?
no answer
Kandarp: BILI !!
Pramod: Uh ?? monopoly, absolute monopoly
Monopoly ? Did he actually say monopoly ? "There are so many coconut trees in this place. There are so many people on this beach. Yet, there's only one guy selling tender coconuts here. Plus this is summer. I am sure he has an exclusive license to sell coconuts on this beach. Perhaps, he has bribed the local politician to ensure no one else is allowed to sell anything here. No wonder we paid 20 bucks for the coconut, while back in Bangalore, we would have paid just 5 bucks. I wonder what the license costed him though."
Kandarp: OK OK, but what about that ship ?
Pramod: What ship ?
Kandarp, Avinash and I buried our heads in disbelief.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
My friend Kandarp
This post is dedicated to my friend Kandarp, or perhaps to a certain problem that keeps haunting him every now and then. Kandarp and I met for the first time in 1992. Our schools had closed for the summer break. Kandarp was visiting his grandparents who lived in Jayanagar. I was spending an unusual amount of time in the playgrounds playing an ununsual number of cricket matches with my friends. It was during one such cricket match that another friend of mine called Ganesh introduced Kandarp to me.
Ganesh: Vindy, meet Kandarp !
Me: Oh ! Hey Gandharv, how are you doing ?
Kandarp: Hi... uh..actually my name is Kandarp
Me: Yes yes, Kandraap
Kandarp (irritated, his face turning red): No! It's Kandarp K-A-N-D-A-R-P
Me: Oh Kandarp, Kandarp...sorry sorry. You know it's not too often that one comes across somebody by name Kandarp in Bangalore...ahem So, are you from India ?
Kandarp: Ofcourse I am from India. Kannada barathappa !! Kandarp is another name for Manmatha. Have you heard of Manmatha....Cupid ? The Roman God who makes people fall in love ? That's me.
Vinay: Wow.. really ? (thinking about my recent crush in Sudarshan Vidya Mandir)... Man, I would love to be your friend
And so this very conversation that happened on a hot Monday afternoon triggered a friendship - a friendship that has lasted for 15 years now, an intense friendship that I am now going to take undue advantage of....
Off topic:
Kandarp was smart chap (he still is). He could do decimal multiplication and division really fast. He knew the answer to every question our science teacher asked. He seemed to know the capital of every country you could think of. He knew the GDP of every nation on this planet, including Burkina Faso. Kandarp was indeed a smart chap. Girls would come to Kandarp during the lunch break to have their math doubts clarified. And Kandarp would come over to my desk to have lunch with me. As a result, I got to hang around with all the popular girls of my school !! Pretty cool stuff I must say. It felt really good being his friend. Just that I couldn't see any chemistry happening between me and my crush. But Kandarp advised me to be patient and I gladly agreed to follow his advice. After all, he was cupid ! btw I am still following his advice....psst
Back to the topic:
You see, I was not the only guy who got his name wrong. In all fairness to Kandarp, I think he has a wonderful name. My grandmom really likes his name and so does a Sanskrit teacher at a nearby temple. But throughout the 15 years that I have known him, I have come across several people who have had problems registering his name when they hear it the first time. They would look at his name, think for a couple of seconds and then change it to something that suited them. For example, back in 6th standard, Kandarp and I had won the south zone inter-school badminton competition and we were now going to compete at the inter-zonal level. On the day of the competition, Kandarp walked over to the registration desk to register our team and to announce our arrival to all the other teams. A physical training instructor from one of the participating schools was registering the teams
PT instructor (munching paan parag): yenappa hesaru ?
Kandarp: Kandarp, sir.
PT instructor: Aaaaahhhhhh ? (with knotted eyebrows)
Kandarp: Kandarp, Kandarp
PT instructor: Oh ok .... ahem ahem (spits the paan parag out)
The instructor went through names from all the participating teams and finally declared that there was nobody by name Kandarp! Kandarp was distraught. This couldn't be happening. We had fought really hard to make it to the zonal level and it seemed like some administrative glitch somewhere was going to keep us out of winning the zonal title. Wiping sweat from his forehead, Kandarp thundered "Illa sir, chanceeee illa...naav south zone winners sir...sudarshan vidya mandir !!!"..... The instructor went back to his list and specifically looked for the south zone winners. Lifting his head and spitting out some more paan parag, he said "Sheeeeee, the wonly team we have here from SVM is Vinay and Sikander".....Sikander ?? what the hell ! Kandarp took out his south zone certificate, showed it to the instructor and got his name changed on the list. We were finally set to roll. I opened my bag and pulled out a glittering maroon Yonex - our brahmaastra if I could say so.
A couple years passed by and we were now in high school. Back in those days, the second most coolest thing a kid from Bangalore South could do, was to go to Vijaya High School. The coolest thing obviously was to eat dose at Dosa Camp. Kandarp had aced the 7th standard board exams with a percentage of 99.98. He had lost just one mark in his math exam owing to a spelling mistake !! To everybody's horror, I had managed a decent score too. So our parents took us out of Sudarshan Vidya Mandir and put us in Vijaya High School. On our first day at VHS, we were all made to sit in an open air auditorium and a teacher by name Dumar kept calling out our names one after another to assign us to various sections. Dvinash Atreya D section, Dramod Biligiri D section, N R Drasad F section, Darsha Honappa D section, Vinay Murthy D section Dogish D section.... and so the list went on and on until about 500 kids were assigned to their sections, with the exception of only one guy. Kandarp was still sitting there in the hot sun with ears that had turned red listening to Dumar for two long hours. Kandarp couldn't think of a reason why he hadn't been assigned a section. Perhaps, they had a special K section just for him ? Dumar looked at Kandarp and said "Yeno sundaraanga, aagle class-inda aache haakbittra ?" Kandarp, who was blushing now, replied "illa sir, nan hesare karililla neevu" Dumar was surprised. He had meticulously stepped through the entire list crossing out every name as soon as he had called it out. After all he had been doing this for 20 years now. It did surprise him that he had missed out on Kandarp's name. Dumar put on his reading glasses and went through the entire list again. He finally found one name that hadn't been crossed - Kandar.P... sigh !! The necessary corrections were made and Kandarp was finally assigned to the D section. Manmatha was back in action, ready to impress all the girls with his laser sharp brain.
I have already told you about two cool things that kids in Bangalore South could do back in the days. Apparently, the third most coolest thing was to write the NTSE exam. The principal of VHS had impressed upon us that if we cleared the exam, the Indian government would adopt us. By adopt, he actually meant a scholarship. The first time our parents heard our principal talking about the NTSE exam, they literally freaked out. They didn't need anybody to adopt their kids ! Anyway, all the cool kids decided to write the exam and so I gave name too. To nobody's surprise, Kandarp aced the state level exam. To everybody's surprise, I managed to clear the exam too. And so here we were enrolling ourselves into a month long coaching class at the Kumarans' for the national level exam. On the first day of our classes, we were all made to assemble in a well lit classroom. There were kids from all over Karnataka. Kandarp even found his childhood sweetheart from Mysore in that class. Our teacher for the first class was a person by name Divakumar. As is the usual practice in all first day classes, Divakumar laboured through the intricacies of the national level exam and by doing so, he convinced me that I stood no chance of clearing the exam. I could clear it if I attended his class religiously and took all his tests. But that meant that I couldn't play for the local Apollo 11 cricket team anymore. I was already getting tensed about this NTSE exam. Perhaps I should have stuck to playing cricket. NTSE ?? definitely not my cup of tea. Divakumar decided to take a roll call and started calling out our names Dvinash...present sir, Drasad ... present sir, ..... , Vinay...a feeble present sir, Dogish...a confident present sir. Having completed the formality, Divakumar got ready to talk about the application of the harmonic mean to an average speed problem. As soon as he opened his mouth to talk, a hand was raised among the students and Kandarp got up. There was a faint murmuring in the classroom. Everyone wanted to know who this guy was. All the girls looked up. Divakumar was impressed. For the first time in his life, he had come across a student who had a doubt on day's topic even before the topic could be discussed...what a student to have in your class. But Kandarp had a totally different concern... "Sir, my name wasn't called".....err..... Divakumar's excitement sank in a couple of seconds and he opened the attendance register again. He looked at Kandarp and said "The only person who is absent today is Bhandari".... Dvinash, Drasad, Dogish and I burst out in peels of laughter.
And so the saga of Kandarp's name continued for several more years later. Several attendance registers were corrected, countless certificates were changed, a couple of T-shirts were re-printed, a degree certificate was re-embossed and a passport was also set right. One fine Sunday morning, Kandarp woke up and decided that he had to put an end to all this confusion. He convinced his parents to change his name to Kandarp Srinivasan and since then, I have been told that Kandarp prefers to introduce himself as K Srinivasan.
Cheers Kandy !
Ganesh: Vindy, meet Kandarp !
Me: Oh ! Hey Gandharv, how are you doing ?
Kandarp: Hi... uh..actually my name is Kandarp
Me: Yes yes, Kandraap
Kandarp (irritated, his face turning red): No! It's Kandarp K-A-N-D-A-R-P
Me: Oh Kandarp, Kandarp...sorry sorry. You know it's not too often that one comes across somebody by name Kandarp in Bangalore...ahem So, are you from India ?
Kandarp: Ofcourse I am from India. Kannada barathappa !! Kandarp is another name for Manmatha. Have you heard of Manmatha....Cupid ? The Roman God who makes people fall in love ? That's me.
Vinay: Wow.. really ? (thinking about my recent crush in Sudarshan Vidya Mandir)... Man, I would love to be your friend
And so this very conversation that happened on a hot Monday afternoon triggered a friendship - a friendship that has lasted for 15 years now, an intense friendship that I am now going to take undue advantage of....
Off topic:
Kandarp was smart chap (he still is). He could do decimal multiplication and division really fast. He knew the answer to every question our science teacher asked. He seemed to know the capital of every country you could think of. He knew the GDP of every nation on this planet, including Burkina Faso. Kandarp was indeed a smart chap. Girls would come to Kandarp during the lunch break to have their math doubts clarified. And Kandarp would come over to my desk to have lunch with me. As a result, I got to hang around with all the popular girls of my school !! Pretty cool stuff I must say. It felt really good being his friend. Just that I couldn't see any chemistry happening between me and my crush. But Kandarp advised me to be patient and I gladly agreed to follow his advice. After all, he was cupid ! btw I am still following his advice....psst
Back to the topic:
You see, I was not the only guy who got his name wrong. In all fairness to Kandarp, I think he has a wonderful name. My grandmom really likes his name and so does a Sanskrit teacher at a nearby temple. But throughout the 15 years that I have known him, I have come across several people who have had problems registering his name when they hear it the first time. They would look at his name, think for a couple of seconds and then change it to something that suited them. For example, back in 6th standard, Kandarp and I had won the south zone inter-school badminton competition and we were now going to compete at the inter-zonal level. On the day of the competition, Kandarp walked over to the registration desk to register our team and to announce our arrival to all the other teams. A physical training instructor from one of the participating schools was registering the teams
PT instructor (munching paan parag): yenappa hesaru ?
Kandarp: Kandarp, sir.
PT instructor: Aaaaahhhhhh ? (with knotted eyebrows)
Kandarp: Kandarp, Kandarp
PT instructor: Oh ok .... ahem ahem (spits the paan parag out)
The instructor went through names from all the participating teams and finally declared that there was nobody by name Kandarp! Kandarp was distraught. This couldn't be happening. We had fought really hard to make it to the zonal level and it seemed like some administrative glitch somewhere was going to keep us out of winning the zonal title. Wiping sweat from his forehead, Kandarp thundered "Illa sir, chanceeee illa...naav south zone winners sir...sudarshan vidya mandir !!!"..... The instructor went back to his list and specifically looked for the south zone winners. Lifting his head and spitting out some more paan parag, he said "Sheeeeee, the wonly team we have here from SVM is Vinay and Sikander".....Sikander ?? what the hell ! Kandarp took out his south zone certificate, showed it to the instructor and got his name changed on the list. We were finally set to roll. I opened my bag and pulled out a glittering maroon Yonex - our brahmaastra if I could say so.
A couple years passed by and we were now in high school. Back in those days, the second most coolest thing a kid from Bangalore South could do, was to go to Vijaya High School. The coolest thing obviously was to eat dose at Dosa Camp. Kandarp had aced the 7th standard board exams with a percentage of 99.98. He had lost just one mark in his math exam owing to a spelling mistake !! To everybody's horror, I had managed a decent score too. So our parents took us out of Sudarshan Vidya Mandir and put us in Vijaya High School. On our first day at VHS, we were all made to sit in an open air auditorium and a teacher by name Dumar kept calling out our names one after another to assign us to various sections. Dvinash Atreya D section, Dramod Biligiri D section, N R Drasad F section, Darsha Honappa D section, Vinay Murthy D section Dogish D section.... and so the list went on and on until about 500 kids were assigned to their sections, with the exception of only one guy. Kandarp was still sitting there in the hot sun with ears that had turned red listening to Dumar for two long hours. Kandarp couldn't think of a reason why he hadn't been assigned a section. Perhaps, they had a special K section just for him ? Dumar looked at Kandarp and said "Yeno sundaraanga, aagle class-inda aache haakbittra ?" Kandarp, who was blushing now, replied "illa sir, nan hesare karililla neevu" Dumar was surprised. He had meticulously stepped through the entire list crossing out every name as soon as he had called it out. After all he had been doing this for 20 years now. It did surprise him that he had missed out on Kandarp's name. Dumar put on his reading glasses and went through the entire list again. He finally found one name that hadn't been crossed - Kandar.P... sigh !! The necessary corrections were made and Kandarp was finally assigned to the D section. Manmatha was back in action, ready to impress all the girls with his laser sharp brain.
I have already told you about two cool things that kids in Bangalore South could do back in the days. Apparently, the third most coolest thing was to write the NTSE exam. The principal of VHS had impressed upon us that if we cleared the exam, the Indian government would adopt us. By adopt, he actually meant a scholarship. The first time our parents heard our principal talking about the NTSE exam, they literally freaked out. They didn't need anybody to adopt their kids ! Anyway, all the cool kids decided to write the exam and so I gave name too. To nobody's surprise, Kandarp aced the state level exam. To everybody's surprise, I managed to clear the exam too. And so here we were enrolling ourselves into a month long coaching class at the Kumarans' for the national level exam. On the first day of our classes, we were all made to assemble in a well lit classroom. There were kids from all over Karnataka. Kandarp even found his childhood sweetheart from Mysore in that class. Our teacher for the first class was a person by name Divakumar. As is the usual practice in all first day classes, Divakumar laboured through the intricacies of the national level exam and by doing so, he convinced me that I stood no chance of clearing the exam. I could clear it if I attended his class religiously and took all his tests. But that meant that I couldn't play for the local Apollo 11 cricket team anymore. I was already getting tensed about this NTSE exam. Perhaps I should have stuck to playing cricket. NTSE ?? definitely not my cup of tea. Divakumar decided to take a roll call and started calling out our names Dvinash...present sir, Drasad ... present sir, ..... , Vinay...a feeble present sir, Dogish...a confident present sir. Having completed the formality, Divakumar got ready to talk about the application of the harmonic mean to an average speed problem. As soon as he opened his mouth to talk, a hand was raised among the students and Kandarp got up. There was a faint murmuring in the classroom. Everyone wanted to know who this guy was. All the girls looked up. Divakumar was impressed. For the first time in his life, he had come across a student who had a doubt on day's topic even before the topic could be discussed...what a student to have in your class. But Kandarp had a totally different concern... "Sir, my name wasn't called".....err..... Divakumar's excitement sank in a couple of seconds and he opened the attendance register again. He looked at Kandarp and said "The only person who is absent today is Bhandari".... Dvinash, Drasad, Dogish and I burst out in peels of laughter.
And so the saga of Kandarp's name continued for several more years later. Several attendance registers were corrected, countless certificates were changed, a couple of T-shirts were re-printed, a degree certificate was re-embossed and a passport was also set right. One fine Sunday morning, Kandarp woke up and decided that he had to put an end to all this confusion. He convinced his parents to change his name to Kandarp Srinivasan and since then, I have been told that Kandarp prefers to introduce himself as K Srinivasan.
Cheers Kandy !
Friday, December 21, 2007
Davan, Dhavan, the keyboard kid and I
I am going to tell you about an incident that happened when I was a primary school kid in Sudarshan Vidya Mandir. The year was 1990. My parents had just then moved to Bangalore from Baroda. I was enrolled "mid-way" in November into the 3rd standard. I could neither read nor write Kannada, which was the third language in the school's curriculum. I was a fairly unknown character in the school back then and my only claim to fame was ace-ing the mid-term Kannada exam after having spent just about a month learning the language. The guys knew me as "Vinay" and the girls knew me as "some random Baroda kid".
The school fixed a date for the Annual Day celebrations and the teachers got busy selecting kids for various cultural programmes. Every class had to present one programme. It was decided that the 3rd standard kids would present a play about the Ramayana. The play was supposed to be a whirlwind tour of the epic, beginning with Rama's fourteen-year exile to the forests and culminating with his appointment to the throne of Ayodhya. The play had a crew comprising of 30 students and 4 teachers with a separate team just for the musicals ! Costumes had been hired from Prabath Kalavidaru and apparently the principal had evinced keen interest in the play as well. Absolutely serious stuff I tell you. You were considered cool if you were a part of the play....in whatever manner possible.
The play had 7 major roles - Rama, Lakshmana, Sita, Bharatha, Ravana, Hanuman and Dasharatha. The supporting roles included Lava, Kusha, Shatrughna, Vishwamitra, Sugreeva and Vali. And finally there were a bunch of boring "extra" roles like a soldier in Rama's army who would make a 2 second appearance on the stage only to have Ravana's sword pierce through his body. His only dialogue was to scream in pain "AAAAAAHHHHHH" when Ravana's sword made it's way through him. He would then be carried off the stage by a bunch of other "extra" guys. Obviously the kids who were most popular with the teachers got the major roles (you know how things work in primary school, don't you). The least popular ones would end up with the fringe roles. Now, ace-ing a Kannada exam once doesn't make you intensely popular and so, I ended up playing that soldier who would get shred to pieces by Ravana. I spent a whole night in bed figuring forty one different ways of screaming "AAAAAAHHHHH" and I must say that I had it in me to make the scene highly emotional.
Three days to go for the mega event and we promptly assembled in the GMT hall for after-hours practice. We quickly reached the scene where I had to make my entry. I executed my role with such passion that the teacher who was directing the play shouted "Very Good. Next !". I was supposed to be followed by Hanuman who would engage Ravana in an intense gadha battle. The keyboard guy in the backstage got ready to play the ting sound every time the gadhas would meet. Ravana stood on stage waiting for Hanuman, but the kid who was supposed to play Hanuman was nowhere to be seen. The teacher shouted "Where is Hanuman ??" ... no sign of Hanuman .... "Where the hell is Hanuman??"....still no sign. Suddenly there was this feeble voice from back stage "Maam, Danesh has typhoid and he will not be participating in our play". Duh! OK, so we have a problem now. Hanuman is missing and we all know that you can't have a play about Ramayana with no Hanuman in it. The teacher, visibly disturbed, looked around to see if any of the other kids would fit into Hanuman's role. Just around the same time, I was being carried off stage by Davan and Dhavan (yeah, twins). The teacher shouted "Put Vinay down"....what ?? ... that was not in the script. I was supposed to be carried off the stage. So I tried getting up to complain about this sudden change in the script that had happened without my knowledge. Just then, the teacher walked up to me and said "OK Vinay, you are going to play Hanuman"...wait a minute, I spent a whole night figuring out forty one ways of screaming in pain and now, all that was going down the drain ? Just because Danesh woke up one day and had a hot plate instead of a forehead ? More importantly, we had just three days left !! For somebody who was trying to enhance his popularity with the best "AAAAAHHHH" people had ever heard, I was being set up for failure. I didn't know the dialogues and Hanuman had quite a lot of things to say. I was not even sure whether the costumes would fit me. This was just not fair. But then, in primary school, you really can't flex your muscles a lot and so I had to accept the role, quite reluctantly if I may add. The soldier's role was trashed and with that Davan and Dhavan lost their roles too. They had to sit and watch us perform. Sad exit for the twins. They were sacked and I seemed to have got a promotion.
The day finally arrived. I was dressed in the weirdest costume I had ever worn for a play. I had a huge tail tied to my waist. I had a fairly ornamental headgear as well. Holding a mace in my hand, I was all set to beat the hell out of Ravana. Our play started and I must admit that we were all doing a great job. The audience was totally mesmerized by our performance. Everyone watched, intently. I walked out and gave Ravana a couple of extra punches than what we had earlier planned. After all, he had stolen my pencil a couple of days ago !! The audience couldn't stop applauding the two of us while we were putting up a wonderful demonstration of "mace fight". The tings from the backstage happened at the same time the maces met...what synchrony... even the keyboard kid was doing a fantastic job. Applause applause everywhere. The mace fighting scene with Ravana got over and the play soon rolled over to the final scene where Rama is sitting on the throne with Sita alongside....a couple of extras start a dance sequence celebrating Rama's victory over Ravana .... the backstage choir is singing a song "Jaya jaya Rama, jaya jaya Sita....".....somewhere in that song when a brief mention is made of Hanuman, I was supposed to leap across the dais, shout "Bolo Shri Ramchandra ki....Jai" and finally genuflect in front of Rama. As soon as the song started praising Hanuman, I took off. I was probably air borne for three to four seconds. Just when I was about touch down, one of the guys from the dance troupe meandered into my glide path... Oh gee, we have a problem. Where's air traffic control ?? There's a kid on the run way .... I couldn't quite manage to avoid this obstruction which had emerged from nowhere and with no prior warning. Quite predictably, I crashed into this kid. My mace hit him on his head and he fell down. Time froze for a couple of seconds. Everybody on the stage was dumbstruck. The teacher, who all along kept cheering us from the side-wings, was now searching for a place to hide. The choir stopped singing. The audience froze. Rama seemed clueless for the first time in his life. This couldn't be happening now, that too towards the end of the play. I had ruined what seemed like a stellar performance by a bunch of awesome 8 year old kids. Nobody knew what to do. I looked around and spotted Davan and Dhavan sitting with their parents. I waved at them frantically to tell them we had a casualty on the stage. Luckily these guys were in a traditional costume that made them presentable on stage. They promptly walked on to the stage, lifted the kid who had fallen down and carried him off the stage...just like they were supposed to carry me off when I was the soldier. Now that the debris had been cleared, a gleeful Hanuman started jumping around with his mace shouting "Bolo Ramchandra Ki" "Bolo Ramchandra Ki"... the keyboard kid played a couple of ting tings to wake up the choir which seemed to have gone into a trance and the dance continued from where it had been paused. The air went alive with cheers of "JAI JAI" from the audience and Rama was back to smiling again.
Davan, Dhavan , the keyboard kid and I shot to fame. The guys knew me as "Vinay" and the girls came to know me as "Vinay" too.
The school fixed a date for the Annual Day celebrations and the teachers got busy selecting kids for various cultural programmes. Every class had to present one programme. It was decided that the 3rd standard kids would present a play about the Ramayana. The play was supposed to be a whirlwind tour of the epic, beginning with Rama's fourteen-year exile to the forests and culminating with his appointment to the throne of Ayodhya. The play had a crew comprising of 30 students and 4 teachers with a separate team just for the musicals ! Costumes had been hired from Prabath Kalavidaru and apparently the principal had evinced keen interest in the play as well. Absolutely serious stuff I tell you. You were considered cool if you were a part of the play....in whatever manner possible.
The play had 7 major roles - Rama, Lakshmana, Sita, Bharatha, Ravana, Hanuman and Dasharatha. The supporting roles included Lava, Kusha, Shatrughna, Vishwamitra, Sugreeva and Vali. And finally there were a bunch of boring "extra" roles like a soldier in Rama's army who would make a 2 second appearance on the stage only to have Ravana's sword pierce through his body. His only dialogue was to scream in pain "AAAAAAHHHHHH" when Ravana's sword made it's way through him. He would then be carried off the stage by a bunch of other "extra" guys. Obviously the kids who were most popular with the teachers got the major roles (you know how things work in primary school, don't you). The least popular ones would end up with the fringe roles. Now, ace-ing a Kannada exam once doesn't make you intensely popular and so, I ended up playing that soldier who would get shred to pieces by Ravana. I spent a whole night in bed figuring forty one different ways of screaming "AAAAAAHHHHH" and I must say that I had it in me to make the scene highly emotional.
Three days to go for the mega event and we promptly assembled in the GMT hall for after-hours practice. We quickly reached the scene where I had to make my entry. I executed my role with such passion that the teacher who was directing the play shouted "Very Good. Next !". I was supposed to be followed by Hanuman who would engage Ravana in an intense gadha battle. The keyboard guy in the backstage got ready to play the ting sound every time the gadhas would meet. Ravana stood on stage waiting for Hanuman, but the kid who was supposed to play Hanuman was nowhere to be seen. The teacher shouted "Where is Hanuman ??" ... no sign of Hanuman .... "Where the hell is Hanuman??"....still no sign. Suddenly there was this feeble voice from back stage "Maam, Danesh has typhoid and he will not be participating in our play". Duh! OK, so we have a problem now. Hanuman is missing and we all know that you can't have a play about Ramayana with no Hanuman in it. The teacher, visibly disturbed, looked around to see if any of the other kids would fit into Hanuman's role. Just around the same time, I was being carried off stage by Davan and Dhavan (yeah, twins). The teacher shouted "Put Vinay down"....what ?? ... that was not in the script. I was supposed to be carried off the stage. So I tried getting up to complain about this sudden change in the script that had happened without my knowledge. Just then, the teacher walked up to me and said "OK Vinay, you are going to play Hanuman"...wait a minute, I spent a whole night figuring out forty one ways of screaming in pain and now, all that was going down the drain ? Just because Danesh woke up one day and had a hot plate instead of a forehead ? More importantly, we had just three days left !! For somebody who was trying to enhance his popularity with the best "AAAAAHHHH" people had ever heard, I was being set up for failure. I didn't know the dialogues and Hanuman had quite a lot of things to say. I was not even sure whether the costumes would fit me. This was just not fair. But then, in primary school, you really can't flex your muscles a lot and so I had to accept the role, quite reluctantly if I may add. The soldier's role was trashed and with that Davan and Dhavan lost their roles too. They had to sit and watch us perform. Sad exit for the twins. They were sacked and I seemed to have got a promotion.
The day finally arrived. I was dressed in the weirdest costume I had ever worn for a play. I had a huge tail tied to my waist. I had a fairly ornamental headgear as well. Holding a mace in my hand, I was all set to beat the hell out of Ravana. Our play started and I must admit that we were all doing a great job. The audience was totally mesmerized by our performance. Everyone watched, intently. I walked out and gave Ravana a couple of extra punches than what we had earlier planned. After all, he had stolen my pencil a couple of days ago !! The audience couldn't stop applauding the two of us while we were putting up a wonderful demonstration of "mace fight". The tings from the backstage happened at the same time the maces met...what synchrony... even the keyboard kid was doing a fantastic job. Applause applause everywhere. The mace fighting scene with Ravana got over and the play soon rolled over to the final scene where Rama is sitting on the throne with Sita alongside....a couple of extras start a dance sequence celebrating Rama's victory over Ravana .... the backstage choir is singing a song "Jaya jaya Rama, jaya jaya Sita....".....somewhere in that song when a brief mention is made of Hanuman, I was supposed to leap across the dais, shout "Bolo Shri Ramchandra ki....Jai" and finally genuflect in front of Rama. As soon as the song started praising Hanuman, I took off. I was probably air borne for three to four seconds. Just when I was about touch down, one of the guys from the dance troupe meandered into my glide path... Oh gee, we have a problem. Where's air traffic control ?? There's a kid on the run way .... I couldn't quite manage to avoid this obstruction which had emerged from nowhere and with no prior warning. Quite predictably, I crashed into this kid. My mace hit him on his head and he fell down. Time froze for a couple of seconds. Everybody on the stage was dumbstruck. The teacher, who all along kept cheering us from the side-wings, was now searching for a place to hide. The choir stopped singing. The audience froze. Rama seemed clueless for the first time in his life. This couldn't be happening now, that too towards the end of the play. I had ruined what seemed like a stellar performance by a bunch of awesome 8 year old kids. Nobody knew what to do. I looked around and spotted Davan and Dhavan sitting with their parents. I waved at them frantically to tell them we had a casualty on the stage. Luckily these guys were in a traditional costume that made them presentable on stage. They promptly walked on to the stage, lifted the kid who had fallen down and carried him off the stage...just like they were supposed to carry me off when I was the soldier. Now that the debris had been cleared, a gleeful Hanuman started jumping around with his mace shouting "Bolo Ramchandra Ki" "Bolo Ramchandra Ki"... the keyboard kid played a couple of ting tings to wake up the choir which seemed to have gone into a trance and the dance continued from where it had been paused. The air went alive with cheers of "JAI JAI" from the audience and Rama was back to smiling again.
Davan, Dhavan , the keyboard kid and I shot to fame. The guys knew me as "Vinay" and the girls came to know me as "Vinay" too.
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